What can one expect from a Miss Alaska runner-up and now Vice-Presidential candidate who chose to name her children Bristol, Track, Trig, Willow and Piper? Live by the semantic sword, die by it too. If you call a girl Bristol, expect her to get seduced by every Tom, Dick and Levi in Alaska. That's about a close all you'll get to justice in an America where politics has become soap opera.
NY Times satirist Maureen Dowd, that faithful Catholic, is down on her knees praying that the McCain-Palin ticket comes in. Four years of columns about Track, Trig, Willow and Piper, not to mention Bristol and Levi shouid amply make up for Hillary's defeat. Given that Dowd gave Cheney the memorable name of Vice, what will she call Palin? Vicelette perhaps. Or Vicelite.
Meanwhile,the Democratic Yahweh, the stony Barack Obama, has refused to lower his all-too-serious self into this afternoon television drama. Shame on the Harvard law grad for his unbending dignity. He said the pregnancy “has no relevance to Governor Palin’s performance as a governor or her potential performance as a vice president....my mother had me when she was 18. How a family deals with issues and teen-age children — that shouldn’t be the topic of our politics.”
The perpetually pedagogical Obama -- all European opera and no American soap -- is wrong, of course. Everything (especially sex) is political and I wouldn't vote for Barack Obama's mother any more than I'd vote for the politically inexperienced Sarah or her more experienced teenage daughter Bristol. If the Bible thumpin' Sarah Palin couldn't stop Levi getting his dirty hands on her Bristol, then what hope is there for the rest of America -- especially since the enlightened Alaskan Governor is against all forms of sex education for adolescents. I fear there's going to be a lot of underage copulating if America elects Palin as its next Vicelette -- and, as a consequence, a lot of freshly minted little Tracks, Trigs, Willows, Pipers and Bristols bringing joy to their adolescent parents.